The Aha Moment

Do you remember some of the advice your parents gave you as a kid? Remember how it went in one ear and out the other?

Recently, my son decides to cut an apple in half with his finger at school during lunch (he saw it on YouTube). He succeeded but the assistant principal caught him and sent him to the nurse (he did not hurt his hand). I got a call. I was trying to explain to my son that not only was it not a good idea but doing it in front of a bunch of middle schoolers, who like him do not have fully developed frontal lobes, was a baaaaddddd idea. He obviously didn’t get it because after I finished my speech he asked if I wanted to see him do it.

I explained that when you make a bad choice it makes an impression on people. Then when the event is repeated people will think of you – especially if you happen to be in the vicinity when it happens (I speak from experience as I went through this daily as a child). Then just recently someone sitting next to him at lunch decided to recreate the event and got busted by the assistant principal. The assistant principal looked at my son and said ‘Wonder where he learned that from?’ He proclaimed his innocence. I expect another call.

Looking back, I thought about what I learned from my parents. My father would say “always expect the worst’. Being the idealistic young girl I was I thought that was very pessimistic. As I got older I realize it was his way of protecting me from a cruel, harsh world. When I expect the worst it lessens the disappointment, the hurt. Lesson One: It is not always good to judge what was said but why it was said.

Sometime when my parents got really desperate they would make a prediction (a gloomy one at that) about an outcome concerning a decision I had made. They were usually right but not always. Lesson Two: Parents don’t know everything.

I learned even more as a parent. I expected my son to listen carefully to my advice. I thought he would thank me for setting him on the right path and saving him years and years of heartache. Yeah, right. Lesson Three: Stop being an idiot. Your kids are not any different than you.

They may listen but they probably won’t get it – not right way, anyhow. You know the moment – the aha moment. When the words your parents said suddenly come to mind and you really get it. It’s also the moment you as a parent feel vindicated. But instead of saying ‘I told you’ even though it is on the tip of your tongue just begging to be let loose – you just smile (and silently praise God!).